New Year, More Vicious love

Hello all,

Today’s newsletter is sponsored by “Let’s Fucking Do This.” Also:

WARNING: THIS ONE IS FUCKIN DENSE. BEST OF LUCK MY DUDES.

Prose and Poetry of the Week

I Want To Be Where I Am, January 2025

It’s about me!! Even more so than usual, and I’m proud of that. I’m proud of my development since the last “I Want” poem (below).

Calm The Fuck Down (I want), February 2020 (pre-fuckin-pandemic!!)

I compare the above to 5 years ago, and I’m proud of myself. I was so stressed at this time in my life.

Jackalope Burrows

Things I’ve learned, laughed about, and/or obsessed over

Matryoshka billboard. She was beautiful and she was fleeting and I knew to cherish her while she was still visible

As well as this beautiful cloud-hair lady. There’s two of her, I’d have to scrounge for my pic of the other one.

One of these days my Instagram is gonna crash and all my collections of art/writing/fan art/social justice stuff/brujeria/plants/memes is going to be lost and I’m going to be sad but alas I will also survive and build anew. Not right away – I’m gonna mope about it for a couple of days.
I saw this and thought “that’s rude”

but it actually said “shoe eraser” 🙃

If you’re looking for a secret dance pole studio, hit me up.

If you’re looking for a stained glass studio, hit me up.

Hey! Wanna see a screenshot you’re regret reading? ☺️

I can’t stop thinking about this dress. Wearing her would heal me, I promise

Did you know there are American Cheese SocietieS (plural) and they give awards?? How did you know they’d be based in Wisconsin??
- American Cheese Society
- World Champion Cheese
- US Champion Cheese
  - March 4-6 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
- there are CONFERENCES!!!!!
- I JUST! WANT! CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever wanted to smell like watermelon Jarritos? For $18?

Decolonization Is Not A Metaphor

Special Edition

The original title of this edition of the newsletter was “New Year, More Decolonizing,” named after the revolutionary work of Eve Tuck and K. Wayne Yang, in their academic piece Decolonization Is Not A Metaphor. However, naming it that would have been directly in opposition to the paper because Tuck and Yang’s main argument is that decolonization is not a blanket term for social justice movements. Decolonization means LAND BACK.

(Check out sweetgrass_beads on Instagram and Etsy, her work is amaaaaaaziiiiiiiing. and also the.beads.knees)
The main critique of this piece is that it claims there is ONLY settler and Indigenous people in a colonized state, seeming to claim that Black Americans are settlers because they are not Indigenous. They still try to recognize that the vast majority of Black Americans are in the Americas because of the slave trade, but it’s not enough.
Tapji Garba and Sara-Maria Sorentino wrote a response: Slavery Is A Metaphor, which argues for more collaboration and recognition between Indigenous and Black studies and communities.
My issue with BOTH of these is not the material/concepts, but how they’re written in academic language that is not accessible, but an argument could be made that they felt the need to use academic language to be respected by academia.
Essentially: Complexity sucks
With the SoCal fires going on right now, where myself and many of my friends and family are on vigilant watch on the Watch Duty app, I wanted to share a couple of things:
- about 30% of the fire fighters that fought the SoCal fires ARE incarcerated, and paid AT MOST $5 PER DAY. You can help them out at Anti-Recividism Coalition. (I can’t find the link to the list of direct paypals to their families.)
- City of LA defunded the fire department, while adding funds the police
- The greed and therefore failure of insurance (Free Luigi), and the loss of generation wealth for Black and Latine families in the Altadena area affected by the Eaton fire.
Great! So what can I do about it?
PICK. YOUR PIECE. OF THE TAPESTRY.
Capitalism is a tapestry. Everything feeds into everything else, which is why there’s terms like heteropatriarcal capitalism. Class war is one thing, decolonization, racism, cis-hetero patriarchy, greed. But you can’t do everything.
Pick a piece, and pull that string, and we’ll unravel it together.
FOR INSTANCE: THIS ONE THING ABOUT THE DUDE WITH THE BUTTERFLIES THAT I TOTALLY THOUGHT I HAD ADDED TO ANOTHER EDITION BUT ANYWAY (swipe through)

Personally, my plan is to work on an art piece about the incarcerated firefighters once the fires are OUT. At the time of this writing, the Palisades Fire is [95%] contained, and the Eaton Fire is [89%] contained. I plan on this one because I would like to be a part of The role of the artist is to make revolution irresistible – Toni Cade Bambara.
Previously and continuously I advocate for Land Back to Indigenous people across the world, although I admittedly focus on Indigenous people in the colonized and occupied state/land known as the US.
- Example of one I’ve supported: Rematriate The Land: The Sogorea Te’ Land Trust, led by urban Indigenous women
- As someone with a complicated relationship to Indigeneity as a “mestiza” Mexican-American, I think our fear of “Land Back” is that Indigenous people will treat us with the colonizing tactics that have devastated Indigenous people since 1492. Someone would say that Indigenous people would be well within their right to do that. My only hope would be that people who have been hurt would not want to hurt others back. I don’t know a better way to say that without sounding condescending.
- See also: Me in the afterlife fighting my Spanish ancestors in front of my few Indigenous ancestors bc my beed with colonization is forever.
Once again: Complexity sucks to deal with, yet necessary.
“Theory’s cool, but theory with no practice ain’t shit. You got to have both of them — the two go together” – Fred Hampton
Small thing: multiculturalism is the new assimilation so we buy into the harms of capitalism, as long as it’s not hurting us.
Mutual aid is what we need

I knew someone who wanted to be in community but didn’t want to be in transactional relationships which I think meant that they wanted the benefits of community without having to contribute. Sure there are relationships that are purely transactional, and some that are more transactional than one of the people may be comfortable with, but I believe it is unrealistic to expect adult relationships to have NO transactions. And then I found this sticky note to help me explain what I’m saying:

I heard “Hypernormalization” the other day and it sounds accurate: feeling the discomfort between what you know to be true and how others are reacting to it.
- Fight, Flight, Fawn, Freeze responses. It’s okay to have these responses. Now to find the balance.
If you’re tired:

If you feel like you hate everyone, eat. If you feel like everyone hates you, sleep. If you feel like you hate yourself, shower. If you feel like everyone hates everyone, go outside.

Many of you will think that I’m going too far here. A few of you will think I’m not going far enough. I call it: I’m a cusp 💅🏽(Gemini/Cancer, Millennial/Gen Z, Bi/polar).
Finally, please check out my Anti-capitalist photo album on my other website that I haven’t worked on in a couple of years, Tierra Tower. I’ll be adding things that didn’t make it here.
Thank you for not losing hope. Thank you for not giving up on your friends and family.
TLDR:

Book Búho

What I’ve been reading/listening to bc audiobooks let me do both. Yes, comics count. And sacrilegiously, I even learn from ones I didn’t finish.

Imma be honest…. This is the last section I’m working on before sending out soooooooooo please forgive me.
Gnostisim by David Brakke
- this one was a collection of lectures. i like learning about early christianity.
The mountain is you: transforming self-sabatage into self-mastery by Brianna Wiest
- unfinished
- this [one] tiktok
the order of time by Carlo Rovelli
- read by benedict cumberbatch (love his voice)
- v cool, love new ideas about the weirdness of time!
bull moon rising by Ruby Dixon
- disappointing!!!! She set up the spicy scenes so well and then the *climatic* scene was BAD, like content warning bad.
it’s not you: identifying and healing from narcissitc people by Ramani Durvasula, PhD
- validating
bad blood: secrets and lies in a silicon valley startup by John Carreyrou
- rabbithole, she was so much more intense than even the documentaries say
life as no one knows it: the physiscs of life’s emergence by Sara Imari Walker
- assembly theory, did not answer the question I wanted it to. Will write more later.
The house of my mother: a daughter’s quest for freedom by Shari Franke
- stressful but important read

Quotes Quail

I’m always listening 😈 y’all are funny

“Más close” – my father about El Vaquero (the dog he didn’t want) wanting to squeeze in between him and my mother

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“Certainty is the enemy of unity […] of tolerance” – Conclave (2024)

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“I want my house to spoon me” – Simone Giertz, inventor

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*El Vaquero barking*
“Vaquero! Those are wheels! On a suitcase!!” – El Vaquero’s mother

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“Remember to be yourself!” – The Beaner™️
“Great! I’m gonna go terrorize.” – me on my way to CVS

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“Where do you buy that? At a sex store?” – my mother about edible glitter. She was surprised to find out that they sell it at the grocery store 😅
“You took your mother to a sex store?” – Papi (referencing Whip It (2009))
“Your mother suggested a sex store?” – me (also referencing Whip It (2009))

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Pedro Pascal vs. gummy worms

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“It’s kinda hot to be divorced in your 20s” – person I had known for about an hour.

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“Have an elevator pitch for your dreams” – Daze Livingston

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“I think about you everyday because you like to be a menace on dating apps and sometimes I’m too nice but then I think ‘it’s time to be a menace’” – me to my inspirational Menace

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“She wants to LOOK like a good person but she doesn’t care about BEING a good person” – me, having one-sided beef with Regina on MasterChef Mexico

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Nuclear titties, icon of the drive between LA and San Diego.

San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station. Photo by Andrea Swayne

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“Sometimes it’s just for me. I even keep secrets from myself.” – talking about handwriting hehe

(O)possum Playlists of the Quarter

Here, we scream.

And, “apparently,” I listen to my short playlists for a “wildly long time”

Spotify Wrapped 2024
so uuhhhhhhhhhh have y’all listened to Hiss by Megan Thee Stallion?

in case you have EVER wondered why I’m O B S E S S E D WITH HER, please thank this video that I first saw on Tumblr…
New up-and-coming obsession: Doechii, since I heard Nissan Altima a couple of months ago
Happy New Me Bitch
- for chillin
Feliz Nuevo Yo Pendeja
- for dancing

Cuervos Chismoses

chisme = gossip. ”e” ending instead of “o/a” in Spanish for more gender inclusion

Still obsessed with My Wife, The Moon, even though She fucked me up as a Full Moon in Cancer

I! GOT! A FUCKING! DIVORCE!
I made this outfit about it:

It took me 56 hours to make, so seven 8-hr days. A lot of those hours were because I was trying all types of flare patterns for the sleeves, and especially the legs.
We went to the Cheech Marin Center for Chicano Art and Culture, and when I found out that the Special Exhibit was Yolanda Lopez I RAN! I wrote my IB Extended Essay on her (shoutsout IB people), which means I spent two years on it.

I got Lala a bed because her old lady hips have a hard time getting on the couch and it brings me so much joy to see that she loves it

oh to be seals stacked on a pier

The Void Shouts Back

If you would like to respond but don’t know what to say, answer the question below. If you don’t want to, just respond with keysmashing or send me a hug with your thoughts. If you don’t want to do that either, that’s okay too.

This time, I have two questions:

What does political art do for you?
- To answer my own question: The Role Of The Artist Is To Make The Revolution Irresistable – Toni Cade Bambara. Because when I think about making political art myself, I think “what’s the point? Am I really doing my part?” But when I see political art, it tends to move me and rile revolution and resistance in me.
What’s the best advice you received in 2024? (swipe through)