Xismosa Xit

Close translation: Cute, Brown, and Sleepy

Hello all,

I just got back from a lovely dinner with a lovely bean! She has inspired some next steps for me, which will hopefully be in Personal Chisme soon!

Poetry and Prose of the Week

Ixtlilton

I have always struggled with sleep and my mestiza (generational “mixed” Indigenous and European) identity. I have all these accouterments to aid me in my sleep – pillows, soft blanket, weighted blanket, heating pad, audiobooks – and I still struggle with finding enough peace to rest. I was looking for a goddess to help me with my sleep, and I found Ixtlilton. In Aztec Mythology, Ixtlilton is the God of Medicine and Children’s Sleep. I couldn’t find a god of Adults’ Sleep. However, this still makes me struggle with my mestizaje because I don’t actually know if I am a descendent of the Aztec/Mexica people, as much as the Mexican nationalist agenda would like me to believe I am. Therefore, this poem is about trying to get sleep, but also wondering if this is even the right God to pray to for the task.

Perfect Foundation vs The History of Mexico

And this is about the Mexican nationalist agenda! I wrote this for the Add To Cart Challenge, which was supposed to be about an experience I’ve had with buying something off of an Instagram ad. I bought a color-changing foundation, because I have a weird time buying a make-up liquid foundation that matches my color, and I blame Mexican Nationalism. It also includes an explanation of why I use Xicana with an “X” instead of a “Ch.” 

Rabbitholes

Things I’ve learned, laughed about, and/or obsessed over

• The Soup Scene™ in Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. Also, the epilogue recked me, so if anyone has read it I would LOVE to discuss it.
• Search for My Tongue by Sujata Bhatt
• While writing this email, the “Xicana” and “Chicana” search results on Giphy
• And this poem:

Personal Chisme

chisme = gossip

• Existential dread. What else is new?
• My creative outlet for the past couple of weeks has been cutting up Vogue and pasting it in my journal

Thank you for joining me on this roller coaster ride! Please let me know if you would like to get off the ride. You can also access an archive of this newsletter on my personal blog.

Abrazos and/or high fives,

Ariana